DHAPS Gathering Minutes 20120114

Date:

• 14th January, 2012

Time:

• 19:30-22:00

Place:

• Spinners & 10-pin Bowling Alley, Hong Kong Cricket Club (HKCC)

Attendants:

• Thomas [Featured guest: 1st appearance]
• Cha a.k.a Carmen
• miah a.k.a. Jeremiah [minute-taker]
• Siuto a.k.a Denise
• Soyin a.k.a Eugene

Apologies:

• T.Lau [T.Lau would like to express his sincere apologies for not being able to attend due to his severe enetophobia (fear of pins).]
• HTY
• Lemon
• Vase

1. Earlier that day, Cha called Siuto, introducing herself saying, “wei, it’s Kat.” Siuto somehow thought Cha sounded like a scammer and answered, “wrong number!” And hung up.
2. Earlier that evening, miah’s family gave Soyin a ride to HKCC. On their way, miah’s grandma expressed her slightly convoluted distaste of people who would prosecute a robber and thus ruining the robber’s life even if the items being taken cost merely $20. Soyin thought grandma’s view almost has a ring of Buddhism in it.
3. Everybody gathers for the gathering. Everybody is introduced to Thomas and Thomas was introduced to everybody. miah holds back from calling him “Thomas” (with a “th” instead of a “t”, which he said he would) or his planned introduction of “hello, you must be confused, I am Jeremiah”. Probably because Thomas is too decent a fellow.
4. Nobody knows what an “interrobang” is, miah is furious because he has written about it in one of the DHAPS email but nobody seems to have read it. It is a combination of an exclamation mark and a question mark, Soyin draws it on the Asuspansenseness.
5. Cha notices Soyin’s new top, which is blue at the top and fades to white beneath the chest, it also has a perforated design. Siuto comments that despite being new, the colour have faded and there are already holes on it.
6. Everybody decides on what to order, miah and Siuto bicker on what salad to order as usual. Soyin throws Cha a knowing glance and comments that they always take a long time.
7. This is Thomas’s first time in Asia, he is still suffering from mild jetlag. Others ask him what he has been / will be doing.
8. Cha seems to have been showing off her shiny boyfriend to every relative she has, Thomas is glad that they all have English names.
9. Thomas has been shopping and Cha has signed Thomas up for a 10k run which takes place on the next day.
10. Siuto suggests that Cha should be Thomas’s local tour guide and go sight-seeing with him. (Siuto is probably thinking about the time miah’s German friend came to Hong Kong and miah refused to go anywhere with him.) Cha says she has in fact already brought him to the Peak, Thomas protectively explains that his schedule is so packed that he hardly has time to go sight-seeing. miah says running 10k is like sight-seeing, quickly.
11. Thomas asks whether the others know Cha from middle school. miah does not know what “middle school” means but other confirms that Soyin and miah indeed knows Cha from middle school, but Siuto knows Cha from earlier. miah claims that it would therefore be “bottom school”, Soyin corrects him by saying that it should be “low school” instead (low school, middle school, high school).
12. Siuto asks whether the gang can go to the flower market together, Cha says it will have to be in the next few days because they will be going to Shanghai on Thursday. The others ask when they will be coming back. Cha explains that they will be flying back to the US directly from Shanghai. All hearts sink a little.
13. miah asks whether Cha will be visiting relatives in Shanghai, others have forgotten that Cha has a Shanghainese origin. miah is again furious that nobody seems to read the DHAPS emails. (In fact, it was mentioned in one of the earlier gatherings, at Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Lung Bao.)
14. Soyin starts a conversation with Cha while Siuto starts another with Thomas, miah is stuck with the minute-taking. Soyin reminds him that he has two hands and two ears. Sadly there was only one Asuspansenseness and it doesn’t do multi-touch in writing-pad mode.
15. Thomas has been staying at Cha’s place, but he is not great with heights. Cha teases him by mentioning that she was going to setup his bed next to the window. Siuto tells Thomas that he should draw the curtains. miah draws a set of curtains on his notes.
16. Cha’s Hainan chicken rice and Thomas’s pasta arrive. Soyin is not happy that his sandwich takes longer to prepare than a Hainan chicken rice or a pasta.
17. Thomas needs the washroom so miah leads the way. While they are away, Siuto and Soyin ask what Cha and Thomas study. Cha explains that Thomas studies neuroscience and what herself does is scanning-related (e.g. MRI). miah comes back and pretends to be surprised to learn that there is actually someone doing the sketch inside an MRI machine. Soyin attempts to backcronym “MRI” to “Manual R___ Inscription”).
18. The rest of the orders arrive. There is not enough table space for the Asuspansenseness, so miah jots notes with good old pen and paper.
19. Siuto asks whether Cha and Thomas can afford much time together in the midst of their busy research / study schedule, and what would they do when they have the time. miah chips in and says “scanning”. Thomas seems mildly amused and explains that they used to cook together, but they haven’t done much of that since a few weeks before the trip.
20. Soyin, in his pleasant semi-serious mode, asks Thomas how he finds Hong Kong. Thomas thinks there are a lot of people, a lot of buildings and all in all “pretty intense”. He is not sure whether he is ready to live here yet though, “there is just too much…” “Height,” adds miah.
21. Siuto and miah decides to share the last piece of pizza. miah chose to split it by first folding it in half and then sliding a knife through the folded edge. Turns out “sawing” is a better description than “sliding”. Thomas comments that it is “like surgery”. miah thinks it would complete the imagine if Siuto starts wiping sweat off his forehead, so he announces that he is sweating. Siuto does not get the reference but Soyin does, however Soyin points out that Thomas wouldn’t get it because the wiping thing only happens in Hong Kong TV drama.
22. miah suggests surgeons should wear headbands. Siuto thinks that there is no need to worry about falling hair because surgeons already wear something to cover their hair, she paused for a second to think of a word to describe the headgear. All shouts “shower cap” in unison and all laugh. [*Best moment*]
23. All move to the bowling alley and play a pretty decent game of bowling, considering they have not played for two years or so.
24. Cha and Thomas have to wake up at 6am on the next morning for the 10k run, so all pack up promptly at 10pm. On the way out, Thomas saw a label that reads “消防喉轆 Fire Hose Reel” and asks Cha to explain what each individual character means. Siuto asks whether Thomas is learning Chinese and Thomas says he is learning a bit of Mandarin.
25. The muted TV is showing a Taiwanese Election news clip with 馬英九 speaking, miah points at it and says, “Mandarin!” As soon as people turned their heads to the TV, the footage goes back to the news reporter in the TVB studio, so miah points at it and says, “now Cantonese.” Then a clip of 蔡英文 is shown, so miah points at it and says, “English!” Thomas asks whether the lady is speaking English, Siuto explains that “her Chinese name is English”, which caused miah to laugh hysterically on his way out.

Next gathering scheduled on 20th January, venue TBA

Attachment:

Neutrino particular

Physicists seem to be troubled by repeated observations of neutrino moving faster than the speed of light. This contradicts Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity which states nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.

I propose renaming the neutrino "nothing".

舊象牙筷子

婆婆剛賣了她在中環的舊居，所以有大量的舊東西轉送各方親戚好友。其中有幾雙象牙筷子本來說要給我媽，可是我們見了實物以後發現經已日久變黃，“退貨”後婆婆決定送給我的表叔婆。

婆：今日俾咗你唔要個幾對象牙筷子表叔婆啦。

媽：都變晒色囉。

婆：唔係啦，仲係好黃淨呀！

假如不是皺皮發

地盆有一燒焊工叫皺皮發.

管公:  假如燒焊的不是皺皮發…

同事:  例如是另一個沒皺皮的亞發…

我:  或者是皺皮中, 或者是皺皮白板…

Cheese ball whimsy for my lovely secretary’​s birthday

Once upon a time, on a giant planet lived a population of giants.

One of the giants was eating cheese balls while watching TV one night.  The news presenter was reporting a story on irresponsible snack manufacturers leaving residual micro-oven robots in their packaged food.  The giant looked down at the cheese ball he was about to put in his mouth and indeed saw a micro-oven robot on it.  Outraged, the giant flicked the cheese ball so hard that it shot out of his window and into outer space.

With its residual velocity, the cheese ball flew across a few galaxies, bumped into the occasional asteroids and finally fell into orbit around a little blue green planet.

Later on, a man and his dog went on this cheese ball and met the micro-oven robot, but that is a different story.

“How do you know if you haven’t tried it?”

Had a pleasant supper gathering last night with a few colleagues (garnished with a few Chinese, Greek and European folklore and mythology thanks to a colleague who is very well-learnt in those areas). It was either when I mentioned that I have never had Chinese mitten crab (大閘蟹), or that I have never drunk alcohol before, the myth-fan asked me why that is the case.

“Didn’t think I’d like it,” I said.

“Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” asked my colleague.

“Well, you are right,” I said after a pause, “I cannot argue with that.”

Surviving the gathering, I went home in the usual post-social-gathering-reflective-mood. Rolling on my bed unable to fall asleep, it suddenly dawned on me that I was wrong – at least I was wrong in saying that I cannot argue with “how do you know if you haven’t tried it”.

I used to like to suck my toes, but at one point I must have stopped wanting to do it despite my pleasurable and intimate relationship with them previously. Taste change (especially when the toes have been in a pair of safety boots for a while), so one’s positive previous experience with something does not guarantee enjoyment in future. In other words, we don’t know for sure regardless of whether we have or have not tried something. The question then simplifies to “how do you know (with a certain degree of uncertainty)?“

One makes a reasonable judgement based on evidence, such as (the mentioned) personal experience and, if that is not available, experience of others, experience in other related matters. I might not have tried Chinese mitten crabs before, but I have eaten crab roe from standard boring crabs. I also know (again, with a certain degree of uncertainty – phrase omitted from this point onwards) how the fact of knowing something has high cholesterol affects my ability to enjoy it. I know my mother, with whom I share not dissimilar taste in food, does not like them. I can therefore take an educated guess that I very probably won’t like them. To borrow an idea from sceptics of the paranormal: the fact that one cannot completely prove the non-existence of paranormal phenomenons does not mean one cannot make up one’s mind based on logic and the evidence that points towards the unlikelihood of such claims. The fact one cannot tell for certain whether one likes a certain idea, activity or thing does not mean one cannot make a judgement on whether one will or will not like the idea, activity or thing.

Otherwise, how do we decide what movie to watch when we go to the cinema? It is improbable that one has already seen all the movies being shown, we can still make a decision based on the trailers, the cast, the reviews, etc. We do not decide to try a movie solely because we have not seen it, not only because we have to pay for the ticket, but also because we could have spent the time watching another movie, watching a play, playing a watch or sucking our toes.

“Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” asked my colleague.

“Well,” I wrote after a one-day pause, “I make a judgement based on other related experiences, what others have told me and any other relevant information I might have gathered.”

Ho-humpty

不知所謂

你好，我是xxx，現在讀三年級。我最喜歡的運動是站立。有時，我在家裡站立。有時，我在學校站立。有時，我在巴士站站立立。有時，我更會坐著的時候想像站立的感覺。

DHAPS Gathering Minutes 20111003

Date:

• 3rd October, 2011

Time:

• 08:10-22:00

Place:

• La’Taste, Stanley Street

Attendants:

• T. Lau (Chair / Table)
• Asuspansenseness (minute-taker)
• miah
• Soyin
• Siuto

Apologies:

• Cha
• HTY
• Lemon
• Vase

1. Before arriving at La’Taste, Soyin tells miah about his thigh injury from a game of basketball on the phone. Someone’s knee collided with his thigh, his thigh lost, so has his team.
2. miah 問傻延駛唔駛休，傻延話自己企喺度就唔係休，坐喺度就係休。（所以佢依家就唔啱做棟篤笑。）
3. miah is reminded of a joke by British stand-up comedian Michael McIntyre. On an airport landing form, the comedian was asked to state his profession, which he put as “comedian”. He was also asked for his position, which he put as “stand-up”.
4. miah has taught his 婆婆 to say “iPhone” in English. Soyin heard that the next iPhone will have slanted edges, miah asks whether it will be similar in shape to a slice of pizza.
5. miah goes to the toilet, tension builds as he wonders whether he will press the wrong button again.
6. (He did not, although the tension was so unbearable that he had difficulty passing water.)
7. miah and Siuto had watched half of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World together, miah found it wonderfully weird, while Siuto found it awfully odd. miah claims he had sent Soyin the link to the trailer, Soyin has not seen it though.
8. Soyin requests for a reminder that he needs to eat with his left jaw. According to his mother, the difference in size of his asymmetric cheeks has increased lately (medically known as「嚴重地細左」). miah doubts that it is caused by his single-sided chewing. Soyin explains that he does not think that is the cause either, but it might help if he starts chewing with his right left jaw instead.
9. miah suggests Soyin should try to get some 「有磅數嘅香口膠」。miah thinks about suggesting slapping his left cheek until the swollen left cheek is about the same size as his right, but then miah realises that Soyin’s religion would request him to then have the right cheek slapped as well and the effect will be cancelled.
10. Both Soyin and Siuto like to use their left hand more to exercise their right brains. Soyin then proceeds to try to use his left hand to manipulate his chopstick with predictably messy result.
11. According to a recent documentary on fighter pilots Siuto saw recently, human is incapable of truly “multitasking”. People who are “good at multitasking” are really only good at switching his/her (more likely her) focus quickly between on-going tasks. miah says the earlier iPhones are also incapable of multitasking and asks whether human is truly capable of multi-touching.
12. miah says that when Siuto mentioned fighter jets (軍機) just now, he somehow thought she meant 軍姫. The topic of discussion then branches off into an almost incomprehensible double entendre on “軍機不可洩漏” either meaning “military information may not be leaked” or “fighter jets may not have oil leaks”.
13. Quick fire questions for Soyin by Siuto regarding his wedding:
• Expected size of his wedding reception? – Probably 28 tables
• Whether they will 玩新郎? – Probably not at the reception, but Soyin does not rule out the possibility of some “side quests” during 接新娘. (Incomprehensible wordplay no.2: “fold the bride” / “catch the falling bride”)
14. Siuto and miah are a bit taken aback by the scale of Soyin’s wedding reception. They then talks about how they thought if they were to have a wedding reception, they will get a male friend and a female friend to reenact their love story on stage up to the point of the wedding. Then the mockouple will move off stage and take the seat of the bride and the groom and “enact” the wedding in real time while the Nings watch at the back and enjoy the meal.
15. Soyin has no idea what Siuto and miah were talking about.
16.  The 串燒拼盤 includes a few rogue slices 扎肉. miah says he always confuses “扎肉” with “絕育”. He thinks the phrase “我今日帶咗隻貓去扎育” sounds normal to him. Siuto tells him it doesn’t work like that.
17. Soyin wants to have zengurt, but thinks he shouldn’t tempt Siuto who is dieting. Siuto says she is interested in having some zengurt as well and 肥可以慢慢減. miah asks her 呢種算係哪門子嘅節食呀. Siuto replies by saying “西門子” – which resulted in six seconds of deadly silence.
18. Siuto asks whether Soyin’s wedding is going have a special theme. Someone suggests a pirate theme, miah then hums the theme to Pirates of the Caribbean. Soyin suggests a pirate theme based on the Somali pirates instead of their Caribbean counterpart. miah says all the guests should then be tied to their chairs with their mouths stuffed. miah then thinks of something and points at Siuto and himself in turn, saying, “凱… 杜…”. Siuto rolls her eyes and comments that it is another reason not to have a wedding reception when they get married.
19. Siuto asks whether Soyin’s wedding reception will have any gimmick of any sort. Soyin does not think there will be. miah suggests that they take turn suggesting a gimmick (which will probably never come true, he adds). Siuto goes first by suggesting a bare-footed wedding, which sounds pretty neat to miah. miah then suggests a bare-footed wedding with push-pins on the ground (actually a reference to one of Siuto’s favourite Korean TV dramas, Dream High). Siuto agrees that the bare-footed wedding should be accompanied by something on the ground, but probably not push-pins. Siuto suggests pebbles (石春). Soyin points out that once pebbles are involved, the bare-footedness ceases to be a gimmick.
20. As the gang depart from La’Taste with Soyin slightly crippling down the flight of stairs. Siuto suggests a wedding with steel-soled shoes. miah then suggests a wedding with steel shoes (iron shoes, to be correct), Soyin promptly adds that guests must break their shoes during the wedding. Soyin then asks whether Siuto plans to ask his guests to march into the wedding with those shoes. Siuto affirms her intention and says there should be someone calling “left right left” to ensure everyone is marching in sync. miah suggests that everyone should take a smaller step when “left” is called (reference to Soyin’s asymmetric cheeks).

DHAPS Gathering Minutes 20010922

Date: 22 September 2011

Time: 19:45 – 22:00

Venue: 來佬餐館

Attendees:

• T. Lau
• Miah
• Siuto
• Soyin
• Spansesness (minutes-taker)

Apologies

• Cha
• HTY
• Lemon
• Vase

1. Soyin arrived at 19:45, waited for a while and received Siuto’s call saying she took the wrong MTR towards Chai Wan (she was coming to Central from Admiralty), and did not realise until she reached Causeway Bay. Siuto ended up arriving at 20:05, and Miah came a minute after.

2. The restaurant was quite noisy. This led to a number of words being misheard during the dinner’s conversation (expanded below).

3. Miah and Siuto realised that Soyin’s hair style was different. Soyin explained that he just went to Squiffy to 「夾直左前面」(既頭髮). Siuto could not hear clearly because the restaurant was too noisy, and said :「林夕坐響你前面？」

4. After clarifying, Soyin said a saloon customer cannot possibly have anyone sitting in front as he/she must be facing the mirror. Miah then started to talk about a scenario where a number of hairdressers cut each other’s hair:

• The number of hairdressers must be even (e.g. 6)
• They sit in a circle facing the back of the hairdresser in front
• Each cuts the rear hair of the person in front
• When finished, hairdressers #1, 3, 5 turn and sit face to face with hairdressers #2, 4, 6′s
• Each hairdresser then cuts the front hair of the person they face (i.e. hairdressers 1 and 2 cut each other’s front hair, same goes for 3 and 4, 5 and 6)

5. The three continued to discuss this bizarre scenario. Siuto pointed out that usually the hairdresser needs to stand up or sit in a tall chair to perform a haircut. Applying this to the current situation, each hairdresser has to be taller than the one in front. This impossible condition reminded Miah and Soyin about the Penrose stairs.

6. Siuto offered a practical solution: everyone sits in a line (arranged by height or sits in chairs of different height), with the last person being bald. Miah and Soyin applauded at this solution.

7. Miah and Siuto congratulated Soyin’s engagement, and Siuto asked how the preparation process is going. Soyin replied they have paid deposits for several items like the banquet, photographers and decoration (佈置). Siuto could not hear clearly because the restaurant was too noisy, and said :「報紙？」 Miah laughed and joked that Soyin is making his wedding like a celebrity wedding, having the need to book PR and arrange deals with newspapers.

8. Siuto asked where Soyin and Lam Siu Na are shooting their pre-wedding photos. Soyin answered (台灣). Siuto could not hear clearly because the restaurant was too noisy, and said :「銅鑼灣？」

9. Miah was trying to tell a story about 和仔, a colleague in office. Soyin asked if 和仔 was the colleague that Miah mentioned before that likes to watch movies. Miah said that colleague’s name was 起哥. Soyin could not hear clearly because the restaurant was too noisy, and said :「企哥？」Miah repeated the name. Soyin could hear clearly this time, and said：「都一樣啫！」

10. The three finished dinner and headed to IFC to have ice cream. On the way, Miah brought up the topic of the difference between a raccoon and a raccoon dog (狸貓, which according to Wikipedia is a subspecies of the raccoon dog. Miah said that there was once a typhoon whose Chinese name is 浣熊, but its English name ,Neoguri is “raccoon dog” in Korean.

Soyin then said,”so whose fault was this”?

Miah said：「天文台淨係識天文…」

Soyin:「…唔識日文」(They thought the English name was from Japanese at the moment)

11. The three went to IFC to have ice cream, but did not stay long, as Miah’s father has come to pick him and Siuto up.

———————

Vase will be very much missed, for the next half year when she is in Australia. Let’s hope the kangeroos and koalas will keep her company till we do a nice Skype group conference.