DHAPS Gathering Minutes 20111003

Date:

• 3rd October, 2011

Time:

• 08:10-22:00

Place:

• La’Taste, Stanley Street

Attendants:

• T. Lau (Chair / Table)
• Asuspansenseness (minute-taker)
• miah
• Soyin
• Siuto

Apologies:

• Cha
• HTY
• Lemon
• Vase

1. Before arriving at La’Taste, Soyin tells miah about his thigh injury from a game of basketball on the phone. Someone’s knee collided with his thigh, his thigh lost, so has his team.
2. miah 問傻延駛唔駛休，傻延話自己企喺度就唔係休，坐喺度就係休。（所以佢依家就唔啱做棟篤笑。）
3. miah is reminded of a joke by British stand-up comedian Michael McIntyre. On an airport landing form, the comedian was asked to state his profession, which he put as “comedian”. He was also asked for his position, which he put as “stand-up”.
4. miah has taught his 婆婆 to say “iPhone” in English. Soyin heard that the next iPhone will have slanted edges, miah asks whether it will be similar in shape to a slice of pizza.
5. miah goes to the toilet, tension builds as he wonders whether he will press the wrong button again.
6. (He did not, although the tension was so unbearable that he had difficulty passing water.)
7. miah and Siuto had watched half of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World together, miah found it wonderfully weird, while Siuto found it awfully odd. miah claims he had sent Soyin the link to the trailer, Soyin has not seen it though.
8. Soyin requests for a reminder that he needs to eat with his left jaw. According to his mother, the difference in size of his asymmetric cheeks has increased lately (medically known as「嚴重地細左」). miah doubts that it is caused by his single-sided chewing. Soyin explains that he does not think that is the cause either, but it might help if he starts chewing with his right left jaw instead.
9. miah suggests Soyin should try to get some 「有磅數嘅香口膠」。miah thinks about suggesting slapping his left cheek until the swollen left cheek is about the same size as his right, but then miah realises that Soyin’s religion would request him to then have the right cheek slapped as well and the effect will be cancelled.
10. Both Soyin and Siuto like to use their left hand more to exercise their right brains. Soyin then proceeds to try to use his left hand to manipulate his chopstick with predictably messy result.
11. According to a recent documentary on fighter pilots Siuto saw recently, human is incapable of truly “multitasking”. People who are “good at multitasking” are really only good at switching his/her (more likely her) focus quickly between on-going tasks. miah says the earlier iPhones are also incapable of multitasking and asks whether human is truly capable of multi-touching.
12. miah says that when Siuto mentioned fighter jets (軍機) just now, he somehow thought she meant 軍姫. The topic of discussion then branches off into an almost incomprehensible double entendre on “軍機不可洩漏” either meaning “military information may not be leaked” or “fighter jets may not have oil leaks”.
13. Quick fire questions for Soyin by Siuto regarding his wedding:
• Expected size of his wedding reception? – Probably 28 tables
• Whether they will 玩新郎? – Probably not at the reception, but Soyin does not rule out the possibility of some “side quests” during 接新娘. (Incomprehensible wordplay no.2: “fold the bride” / “catch the falling bride”)
14. Siuto and miah are a bit taken aback by the scale of Soyin’s wedding reception. They then talks about how they thought if they were to have a wedding reception, they will get a male friend and a female friend to reenact their love story on stage up to the point of the wedding. Then the mockouple will move off stage and take the seat of the bride and the groom and “enact” the wedding in real time while the Nings watch at the back and enjoy the meal.
15. Soyin has no idea what Siuto and miah were talking about.
16.  The 串燒拼盤 includes a few rogue slices 扎肉. miah says he always confuses “扎肉” with “絕育”. He thinks the phrase “我今日帶咗隻貓去扎育” sounds normal to him. Siuto tells him it doesn’t work like that.
17. Soyin wants to have zengurt, but thinks he shouldn’t tempt Siuto who is dieting. Siuto says she is interested in having some zengurt as well and 肥可以慢慢減. miah asks her 呢種算係哪門子嘅節食呀. Siuto replies by saying “西門子” – which resulted in six seconds of deadly silence.
18. Siuto asks whether Soyin’s wedding is going have a special theme. Someone suggests a pirate theme, miah then hums the theme to Pirates of the Caribbean. Soyin suggests a pirate theme based on the Somali pirates instead of their Caribbean counterpart. miah says all the guests should then be tied to their chairs with their mouths stuffed. miah then thinks of something and points at Siuto and himself in turn, saying, “凱… 杜…”. Siuto rolls her eyes and comments that it is another reason not to have a wedding reception when they get married.
19. Siuto asks whether Soyin’s wedding reception will have any gimmick of any sort. Soyin does not think there will be. miah suggests that they take turn suggesting a gimmick (which will probably never come true, he adds). Siuto goes first by suggesting a bare-footed wedding, which sounds pretty neat to miah. miah then suggests a bare-footed wedding with push-pins on the ground (actually a reference to one of Siuto’s favourite Korean TV dramas, Dream High). Siuto agrees that the bare-footed wedding should be accompanied by something on the ground, but probably not push-pins. Siuto suggests pebbles (石春). Soyin points out that once pebbles are involved, the bare-footedness ceases to be a gimmick.
20. As the gang depart from La’Taste with Soyin slightly crippling down the flight of stairs. Siuto suggests a wedding with steel-soled shoes. miah then suggests a wedding with steel shoes (iron shoes, to be correct), Soyin promptly adds that guests must break their shoes during the wedding. Soyin then asks whether Siuto plans to ask his guests to march into the wedding with those shoes. Siuto affirms her intention and says there should be someone calling “left right left” to ensure everyone is marching in sync. miah suggests that everyone should take a smaller step when “left” is called (reference to Soyin’s asymmetric cheeks).